Free Stuff… Who doesn’t want free stuff…

So I recorded several shows for MP3’s and the Video, and finally I decided on the best collection of material and best quality that I have.

Please feel free to download my MP3 demo, share it with your friends do what you will with it. Like a genie I grant you permission. Unfortunately I cant wish for a million dollars so if you do enjoy the MP3′s and can support there is a donation tab below. All money I make via donations will go towards touring my one man show that I am busy writing named “I just don’t get it” which I am hoping to tour from August 2013. Thank you for your support. (PS you are all thinking what a F^#KING Jew. Asking for money, its simply because I would like to do this full time so I don’t have to go to some shitty cubicle and fantasize about banging the secretary on the copier just to get through my day. I would rather come visit you in whatever city you are in and bang your office secretary on your copier.)

Disk cover 2

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Enjoy 🙂

South Africa – A hard act to follow

So I have been in Canada for almost 3 months now. The main thing that sticks out for people is the accent. Is it that different? People automatically assume its either Australian or British. To those people I firstly would like to say please find a cliff and jump off. It is the same as me saying “All Canadians and Americans sound the same” Its just full of crap. However a strange thing has been happening lately. As I sit at home most of the time I have watched a lot of TV, I am talking as much as a vegetable in a state who can only stare at a TV set amount of TV watching. I have seen several movies where they attempt our beloved accent and thus made me want to write this. What are the 3 worst attempts at the South Africa accent? Well I shall answer these.

Hot Crazy Scale Explained

The Hot Crazy Scale Explained

[Writers Side Note: Please note that this “Case Study” is merely made for humors value and is in no way true, except if you meet one of these girls LOL! Again I am just kidding! Please Note that I wrote this to solve an argument between me and my one friend as he was having a lot of interest from crazy girls. It then took off as a very funny piece of writing! Please enjoy!On another note this can be applied to guys just be a little creative ladies!]

Firstly I would like to thank whoever is reading this because let’s face it you are bored at work or of studying and you would rather be entertained by me ranting on about girls than do what you have to and that is awesome! Second I want to take at moment to explain the hot/crazy scale. Basically you can apply this scale to certain aspects of dating life (when you have been single for quiet some time, or recently have entered into a relationship, when you are single after being dumped, when you are looking for sex relationship or not, when you have never seen a pair of boobs other than softcore porn ect).

Most noteably there are 3 levels of hot and 3 levels of crazy and below I explain each level in detail but here is a summary:

CRAZY: 0 -3 : This is a very low level of crazy

4 -7: This is a medium level of crazy

8 -10: This is a very very high level of crazy

HOT: 8-10: Super Hot

6-7: Decently Hot

0 -5: Not Hot …… EVER!….. Unless intoxicated

Thirdly I would like to thank Barney Stinson the inventor of the Hot Crazy Scale from the show How I Met Your Mother because without him none of this could be possible. Finally I would like to thank Crazy chicks everywhere for giving us endless entertainment in your quest for “Love” and good luck because you will never ever find that.

1 years old! I guess Happy Comedy Birthday to me!

So on June 21st I became a 1 year old to the comedy world, I wanted to make it a thing so I wrangled myself on the line up for Parkers on June 20th, now 1st off that was an odd choice because in that year I had done Parkers 5 other times, and heard the same thing they hear at a 5 day game of the sport the insect is named after. Crickets.

Parkers Monte, is the place for comedy and comedians, its where you should be hanging out if you want to be known and everyone involved in the venue is amazing, Joe for what he has done for the scene and Melisa his right hand lady who kicks serious ass.

The line up was an improv game involving Vittorio Leonardi, Hannes Brummer and Monique Nortjie. Then a break and it would be me Mojak and Mpho Pops.

GIG Lowdown – MY Jet

So I have been Gigging my little jewish buns off trying to crack this industry and make it my bitch but I thought I would give you an update of how they have been going.

My Jet – A Comedy Night so Hot – Burn Foundation of SA

This show was one I was excited for but at the same time disgustingly nervous for, a KILLER Line up was in store for the night with Vittorio Leonardi, Mel Miller, Chris Forrest, Trevor Gumi and Mpho Pops on the bill I was clearly the youngster, and the room was semi full so the pressure was mounting not to mention it was for a cause and I had only ever done bar shows for bar reasons never for the cause of something important and it changes your entire approach

Being Mpho Pops room he was the host. All I want to say is Mpho had my attention from word one till the very last. The man has insane talent and backs it up with great comedy, quick and too the point he delivered joke after joke to great reception and with the crowd won over quickly he brought out Chris to a warm applause and I have seen a lot of Chris in recent history and he delivered as he always does. While watching Chris banter with an idiot in the 1st row and him not losing a beat of rhythm or comic timing. This is when Mpho told me I would no longer be on after Chris rather I would perform 1st after the break. I graciously accepted and took a seat among the crowd to get a better idea of what the vibe was like.

As I sat down Mpho came back on and delivered very relatable material of a local topic before bringing out a Classic in Mel Miller. Mel never disappoints and you can have nothing but respect as he has kept his material sharp and his delivery just flows like a man with tons of stage experience, noticeable when dealing with the loud drunk women in the front, putting her in place. No questions asked/

Mel ended and we went straight into the break. During the break it seemed as if 1/3 of the people who came out, had come out to watch Mel and were now leaving and I find it easier the more the people. But maybe it was just my nerves talking.

Mpho came out and did a quick 5 minutes not nearly setting the up as much as before, it must be because the night was dragging a little. SO I took to the stage,  and it was a very hit then miss show, my self deprecating jokes went over but my dark observations of my family I just didnt deliver with the oomph it deserves or the finesse for it. So I went for new lighter stuff and again hit and miss ,ainly because I kept tongue tying myself. I finished with my usual sports bit to a semi warm reception and inside I knew it had been just ok, which if you know me is not good enough in the slightest.

I came off to Vittorio giving me some well needed advice and I gladly listen as I knew it wasnt a great show and these guys have been doing it for years.

Opening Words

People have always said that when you start something you should make a good 1st Impression. First off, I don’t think that I am capable of such a task. With my quirks and differences and crazy ideas, I have come to the world bright eyed and wanting to change the world one little girly giggle at a time. One can hope we can make that happen.
Having starting to perform in June 2011 and with a handful of shows under my belt, which is odd because I am wearing the belt but no pants, I am hoping to do more and more shows over the next few months so creating this was the 1st step in setting up my global domination plan, where I make you think ahhhh he may be funny and then bam I am world president and we are using balloons as currency so we can deflate an inflate at will. (wait) I have clearly gone off a tangent and forgotten what I was trying to say.
Please browse around this site see what you like and don’t like remember that when you comment I do have feelings though and I have been known to be a little girl sometimes.
Have a rad day to anyone who has read this and stay classy!